EJMR: "Basically all of my 30-something friends/acquaintances are in relationships or have families"
Also EJMR: "Dating is impossible if you are a man with less than 9.9/10 looks"
i don’t see how those are incompatible
90% of dating advice is so wrong-and reality blind it’s effectively gaslighting
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EJMR: "Basically all of my 30-something friends/acquaintances are in relationships or have families"
Also EJMR: "Dating is impossible if you are a man with less than 9.9/10 looks"As the discussion in this very thread has pointed out, there is a "global" dating market (where the "you have to be a X out of 10" logic applies), and there is the "local" market where ones social abilities/popularity/connections can help tremendously.
Most social circles have a range (in terms of social status) of people.
There are the popular people. These are the people who often propose to do things. If they propose things, people will take an interest. If there is an event/gathering that they are going to, it gives the gathering credibility and makes others want to go.
There are people who aren't quite as popular as the popular folks, and they have a more mixed ability to generate social interest. But they are not at the bottom.
Then there are the people who are not socially popular (this group is the one which most undateable men belong to). These are the people who never bother to propose doing things because nobody will want to do something they propose anyway (unless people hear that one or more popular people are also participating, which changes the dynamic). These are the people whose presence at an event is, at best, not off-putting. But their presence is never really an attractive point that inspires others to take part.
I suppose the people in this unpopular group could form their own little circle after everyone else leaves. But:
1. It's not like they will find anyone to date at any of their social gatherings
2. These people aren't used to proposing social activities, so they are not likely to suddenly start
To the extent they do hang out with each other, it's usually just one-on-one dinners/drinks with a fellow l0 ser where they commiserate for a while. But after the meetup, they will wait a considerable amount of time to meet again, because nobody wants to hear too much about someone else's boring/sad life. Besides, if nobody else has fun hanging out with a l0 ser, why would a fellow l0 ser?
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EJMR: "Basically all of my 30-something friends/acquaintances are in relationships or have families"
Also EJMR: "Dating is impossible if you are a man with less than 9.9/10 looks"EJMR: "all 30-yr olds are milkmired shrews"
Also EJMR: "Plz bros help me find one, I'm so lonely"
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EJMR: "Basically all of my 30-something friends/acquaintances are in relationships or have families"
Also EJMR: "Dating is impossible if you are a man with less than 9.9/10 looksEJMR: "Basically all of my 30-something friends/acquaintances are in relationships or have families"
Also EJMR: "Dating is impossible if you are a man with less than 9.9/10 looks"EJMR: "all 30-yr olds are milkmired shrews"
Also EJMR: "Plz bros help me find one, I'm so lonely"I don’t have anything negative to say about women. I am not one of those ang ry innzalls who think society owes him.
I am just a lonely guy who wishes he had a companion.
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"I don’t have anything negative to say about women. I am not one of those ang ry innzalls who think society owes him."
Then you're part of the problem.lol
I don't know how my views, one way or another, would contribute to or lessen the problemBecause, until the men that maintain society collectively develop the sense of "entitlement" so manifest in the lib anointed groups, we'll all continue to be collectively walked all over. The idea of "male entitlement' is absolutely risible -- the problem with this society is that there's no "male entitlement" to speak of at all.
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EJMR: "Basically all of my 30-something friends/acquaintances are in relationships or have families"
Also EJMR: "Dating is impossible if you are a man with less than 9.9/10 looks"EJMR: "all 30-yr olds are milkmired shrews"
Also EJMR: "Plz bros help me find one, I'm so lonely"OMG SO CLEVER! YOU REALLY GOT 'EM!
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I dunno why you think you’re all that big a population. The expected value of helping is low, simply because helping all the inscales doesn’t add up to much. Society has always has sad sacks.
"I don’t have anything negative to say about women. I am not one of those ang ry innzalls who think society owes him."
Then you're part of the problem.lol
I don't know how my views, one way or another, would contribute to or lessen the problemBecause, until the men that maintain society collectively develop the sense of "entitlement" so manifest in the lib anointed groups, we'll all continue to be collectively walked all over. The idea of "male entitlement' is absolutely risible -- the problem with this society is that there's no "male entitlement" to speak of at all.
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EJMR: "Basically all of my 30-something friends/acquaintances are in relationships or have families"
Also EJMR: "Dating is impossible if you are a man with less than 9.9/10 looks"As the discussion in this very thread has pointed out, there is a "global" dating market (where the "you have to be a X out of 10" logic applies), and there is the "local" market where ones social abilities/popularity/connections can help tremendously.
Most social circles have a range (in terms of social status) of people.
There are the popular people. These are the people who often propose to do things. If they propose things, people will take an interest. If there is an event/gathering that they are going to, it gives the gathering credibility and makes others want to go.
There are people who aren't quite as popular as the popular folks, and they have a more mixed ability to generate social interest. But they are not at the bottom.
Then there are the people who are not socially popular (this group is the one which most undateable men belong to). These are the people who never bother to propose doing things because nobody will want to do something they propose anyway (unless people hear that one or more popular people are also participating, which changes the dynamic). These are the people whose presence at an event is, at best, not off-putting. But their presence is never really an attractive point that inspires others to take part.
I suppose the people in this unpopular group could form their own little circle after everyone else leaves. But:
1. It's not like they will find anyone to date at any of their social gatherings
2. These people aren't used to proposing social activities, so they are not likely to suddenly start
To the extent they do hang out with each other, it's usually just one-on-one dinners/drinks with a fellow l0 ser where they commiserate for a while. But after the meetup, they will wait a considerable amount of time to meet again, because nobody wants to hear too much about someone else's boring/sad life. Besides, if nobody else has fun hanging out with a l0 ser, why would a fellow l0 ser?And to close the model these same asocial men spend a disproportionate amount of time on forums like this one upvoting posts that bash women. That would explain why dating threads on here are so full of blackpilling.
But back to the two statements and why they contradict (I can't believe I have to spell this out on a board but I have to remember most of the people posting here are just pretending to be economists): the group of mid 30s men I know, while I agree there is selection based on social skills, includes many who are average or below average in looks. And yet almost all have partners. So it's hard to explain the second statement if we accept the first.
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I dunno why you think you’re all that big a population. The expected value of helping is low, simply because helping all the inscales doesn’t add up to much. Society has always has sad sacks.
"I don’t have anything negative to say about women. I am not one of those ang ry innzalls who think society owes him."
Then you're part of the problem.lol
I don't know how my views, one way or another, would contribute to or lessen the problemBecause, until the men that maintain society collectively develop the sense of "entitlement" so manifest in the lib anointed groups, we'll all continue to be collectively walked all over. The idea of "male entitlement' is absolutely risible -- the problem with this society is that there's no "male entitlement" to speak of at all.
More than 30% of 18-30 yo men are virgins now. Your info is out of date
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Because, until the men that maintain society collectively develop the sense of "entitlement" so manifest in the lib anointed groups, we'll all continue to be collectively walked all over. The idea of "male entitlement' is absolutely risible -- the problem with this society is that there's no "male entitlement" to speak of at all.
If this is how you views things, then I am happy to be a part of the problem
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EJMR: "Basically all of my 30-something friends/acquaintances are in relationships or have families"
Also EJMR: "Dating is impossible if you are a man with less than 9.9/10 looks"As the discussion in this very thread has pointed out, there is a "global" dating market (where the "you have to be a X out of 10" logic applies), and there is the "local" market where ones social abilities/popularity/connections can help tremendously.
Most social circles have a range (in terms of social status) of people.
There are the popular people. These are the people who often propose to do things. If they propose things, people will take an interest. If there is an event/gathering that they are going to, it gives the gathering credibility and makes others want to go.
There are people who aren't quite as popular as the popular folks, and they have a more mixed ability to generate social interest. But they are not at the bottom.
Then there are the people who are not socially popular (this group is the one which most undateable men belong to). These are the people who never bother to propose doing things because nobody will want to do something they propose anyway (unless people hear that one or more popular people are also participating, which changes the dynamic). These are the people whose presence at an event is, at best, not off-putting. But their presence is never really an attractive point that inspires others to take part.
I suppose the people in this unpopular group could form their own little circle after everyone else leaves. But:
1. It's not like they will find anyone to date at any of their social gatherings
2. These people aren't used to proposing social activities, so they are not likely to suddenly start
To the extent they do hang out with each other, it's usually just one-on-one dinners/drinks with a fellow l0 ser where they commiserate for a while. But after the meetup, they will wait a considerable amount of time to meet again, because nobody wants to hear too much about someone else's boring/sad life. Besides, if nobody else has fun hanging out with a l0 ser, why would a fellow l0 ser?And to close the model these same asocial men spend a disproportionate amount of time on forums like this one upvoting posts that bash women. That would explain why dating threads on here are so full of blackpilling.
But back to the two statements and why they contradict (I can't believe I have to spell this out on a board but I have to remember most of the people posting here are just pretending to be economists): the group of mid 30s men I know, while I agree there is selection based on social skills, includes many who are average or below average in looks. And yet almost all have partners. So it's hard to explain the second statement if we accept the first.Sure, you know plenty of avg/below avg men (looks-wise) who have partners. But see my comment about the two dating markets. Those guys tend to be reasonably likeable and socially skilled.
In any case, whatever the low threshold is in terms of looks and personality that is required to get dates, I am well below it. I am not blaming society. I think I just s uck.
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To the people complaining about men who have no success in dating spending lots of time online in threads like this:
I don't think it is very productive and I don't like the women bashing that often starts during such discussions.
But I think that people who have better luck dating and want to be part of a productive discussion could do a better job empathizing with those who have little or no luck. Nothing is more frustrating for someone who is really struggling with something than to hear some simple, easy-sounding solution proposed by someone who does not have to deal with the hurdles that they face. I thin it's this frustration that results in men who have no luck going online and commiserating in toxic threads.