Not our fault your child's father is a deadbeat who wont do any of the work raising the baby. Actually, it is mostly your fault for making a giant commitment with somebody so immature.
"Academia is almost like it was designed without women in mind.."
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i attract low quality man, for some reason. make the commitment, or single for the rest of my life. how do i choose?
Not our fault your child's father is a deadbeat who wont do any of the work raising the baby. Actually, it is mostly your fault for making a giant commitment with somebody so immature.
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The key issue and no one discusses is why is it that we assume that women should bear all the cost of having children? They do have to make a larger investment at the beginning (normally they are the ones carrying the child and giving birth) but men are also capable of taking care of children (shock horror!). They can feed small babies, wake up at night to comfort them and take care of them when ill. Then we will all face the terrible time of trying to succeed in academia and raising children.
Not sure what world you live in, but most men do. The days when women do a vast majority of child raising are gone.
The current generation of "feminists" will not be satisfied until the world is turned into a matriarchy, where women have to do less work than men yet get better outcomes.
Such a shame that people believe that the reality they live is the one that the majority experiences. Women still do most of the child care even if you share it with your partner as I do. I do not want better outcomes, I want same opportunities.
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i attract low quality man, for some reason. make the commitment, or single for the rest of my life. how do i choose?
Not our fault your child's father is a deadbeat who wont do any of the work raising the baby. Actually, it is mostly your fault for making a giant commitment with somebody so immature.
What would be a "low quality man"?
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lower than me 1) finance-wise 2) in terms of parents' social status
i attract low quality man, for some reason. make the commitment, or single for the rest of my life. how do i choose?
Not our fault your child's father is a deadbeat who wont do any of the work raising the baby. Actually, it is mostly your fault for making a giant commitment with somebody so immature.
What would be a "low quality man"?
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not a little lower. much lower. you might infer i'm mobile downward. feel free.
i attract low quality man, for some reason. make the commitment, or single for the rest of my life. how do i choose?
Not our fault your child's father is a deadbeat who wont do any of the work raising the baby. Actually, it is mostly your fault for making a giant commitment with somebody so immature.
What would be a "low quality man"?
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All these excuses are silly. I’m a man, but I’ve always done 90% of our childcare due to my wife’s chronic illness. Sometimes I also need to take care of her. I got tenure at a very good school. Was it stressful as an AP? Sure, sometimes, but you do what you have to do for your family. I made my choices and didn’t whine about academia not being designed with my exact situation in mind.
Cry me a river. It can be done if you have a little grit.
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The key issue and no one discusses is why is it that we assume that women should bear all the cost of having children? They do have to make a larger investment at the beginning (normally they are the ones carrying the child and giving birth) but men are also capable of taking care of children (shock horror!). They can feed small babies, wake up at night to comfort them and take care of them when ill. Then we will all face the terrible time of trying to succeed in academia and raising children.
Not sure what world you live in, but most men do. The days when women do a vast majority of child raising are gone.
The current generation of "feminists" will not be satisfied until the world is turned into a matriarchy, where women have to do less work than men yet get better outcomes.
Such a shame that people believe that the reality they live is the one that the majority experiences. Women still do most of the child care even if you share it with your partner as I do. I do not want better outcomes, I want same opportunities.
So why don't you chose a partner who is more supportive? Why are inter maritial arrangements the problem of society (conditional on other ere raise equal treatment in terms of parental leave etc)?
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Most of these imbeciles have never had a real job in their life. Very few jobs have more flexibility than academia.
This. Academia is uniquely suited to having a family, and thus is more “female-friendly” than nearly any other job.
If they saw the working moms in my town whose husbands are active military and deployed overseas, and they somehow have to work to make ends meet and do all of the child work for months at a time, maybe they would show some damn humility and appreciation for their good fortune to be in academia. Ungrateful trash.
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I wholeheartedly agree with this. But, that doesn't mean there are 0 barriers to women with children in academia.
Most of these imbeciles have never had a real job in their life. Very few jobs have more flexibility than academia.
This. Academia is uniquely suited to having a family, and thus is more “female-friendly” than nearly any other job.
If they saw the working moms in my town whose husbands are active military and deployed overseas, and they somehow have to work to make ends meet and do all of the child work for months at a time, maybe they would show some damn humility and appreciation for their good fortune to be in academia. Ungrateful trash. -
I wholeheartedly agree with this. But, that doesn't mean there are 0 barriers to women with children in academia.
Most of these imbeciles have never had a real job in their life. Very few jobs have more flexibility than academia.
This. Academia is uniquely suited to having a family, and thus is more “female-friendly” than nearly any other job.
If they saw the working moms in my town whose husbands are active military and deployed overseas, and they somehow have to work to make ends meet and do all of the child work for months at a time, maybe they would show some damn humility and appreciation for their good fortune to be in academia. Ungrateful trash.
True. But that’s true for everyone. And if there’s scope for improvement even in academia I embrace it - I try to be accommodating of mothers with young children, for example, since it’s barely an inconvenience for me but can be critical for them.
I object to the ingratitude that academics have when other working moms have it sooo much worse.
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All these excuses are silly. I’m a man, but I’ve always done 90% of our childcare due to my wife’s chronic illness. Sometimes I also need to take care of her. I got tenure at a very good school. Was it stressful as an AP? Sure, sometimes, but you do what you have to do for your family. I made my choices and didn’t whine about academia not being designed with my exact situation in mind.
Cry me a river. It can be done if you have a little grit.Disgusting male privilege. I almost threw up a little.
The key issue and no one discusses is why is it that we assume that women should bear all the cost of having children?
If you have no maternal instincts, you're not likely to have babies anyway. So this shouldn't be a problem for the kinds of women who want to assume that.
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Women love patting themselves on the back. They want all the perks of being a woman in academia and will cry foul on top of it. A sad tired trope. Pretty much the powerful position one can be in is to be an attractive woman. The red carpet will be rolled out for you.
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Women love patting themselves on the back. They want all the perks of being a woman in academia and will cry foul on top of it. A sad tired trope. Pretty much the powerful position one can be in is to be an attractive woman. The red carpet will be rolled out for you.
Welcome to the 21st century!