I'm really into the idea of a job market candidate dipping his chicken tenders into the Chocolate Wonderfall before hitting up the ice cream bar
Flyout dinner
-
Sincere response:
1) I respect your willingness to accept professional consequences in order to act in the way you feel is right.
2) While I think requesting that a faculty dinner held for your flyout be held at a restaurant that doesn't serve alcohol is reasonable, other posters have made good points about the ways that this might cause difficulty down the line. Are you willing to be at a restaurant that serves alcohol if you don't eat or drink? If the answer is yes, it might be worth mentioning this to reassure the department that your constraints won't get in the way of interacting socially with visiting faculty, current faculty, etc.
3) It might not hurt to try to have a plan for how to be part of the social life of your department without violating your rules (for instance, maybe you could volunteer to pick people up at the airport who come in for seminars, or to host breakfast get togethers or coffee and snack get togethers with students). I'm sure you've already developed some strategies for this as a grad student.
I would maybe say something like the following, where {} is an "if true" addition:
Dear [coordinator], Thank you for inviting me to visit [school]. [school] would be a great fit and I am really looking forward to meeting everybody. I wanted to let you know that for religious reasons, I am unable to eat at a restaurant that serves alcohol. As a result, I was wondering if it would be possible to hold the faculty dinner at a restaurant where alcohol is not served. I understand that this is a difficult request, and would be happy to look for such a restaurant in your area if doing so would be helpful. {I am also happy to attend a dinner socially at any restaurant, but would not be able to eat if the restaurant served alcohol.} Thank you again for all your work coordinating my visit.
Sincerely,
Teetotaler -
The irony here is that OP will fail on flyouts not because of anything to do with religious preferences or rules associated with them. It will be because OP is an ass.
And no, you’re not as ass because of any of your beliefs or adherence to them. It’s purely the way your tone comes across. You seem like someone who would not only thrive in an environment that involved as little interaction with others who see the world differently than you as possible, but REQUIRE it.
I wish you luck. Don’t abandon your beliefs for your colleagues, just be precise in how they are defined and don’t ask of anyone a request that, if reciprocated in spirit, would be a burden you would not tolerate.
-
The irony here is that OP will fail on flyouts not because of anything to do with religious preferences or rules associated with them. It will be because OP is an ass.
And no, you’re not as ass because of any of your beliefs or adherence to them. It’s purely the way your tone comes across. You seem like someone who would not only thrive in an environment that involved as little interaction with others who see the world differently than you as possible, but REQUIRE it.
I wish you luck. Don’t abandon your beliefs for your colleagues, just be precise in how they are defined and don’t ask of anyone a request that, if reciprocated in spirit, would be a burden you would not tolerate.Exactly this!
-
OP sounds like a complete pill that thinks the entire world should bend to his desires. Would be a great colleague, I'm sure.
This wouldn't fly in my department, where only a handful of people drink, there is minimal socialization, and we are located in a state with a huge group of people that don't drink. As someone mentioned, it will impose server long-term externalities on the entire department and, honestly, unless you are future Nobel material, no one will put up with it. Even if you were, you wouldn't make the initial cut.
-
Oh and be mindful that it’s very likely that an administrative assistant will book things and it’s possible that attending faculty will need to be informed (again) as to why a restaurant was chosen or not chosen. So be prepared for them to need to hear it from you even after dinner begins.
-
From OP: "As for hurting my chances, refusing to rob a bank hurts one's chances of quickly becoming a millionaire. I will live with that. I appreciate your advice though."
The use of such an insightful analogy is a signal that OP is headed to a top institution regardless of any personality quirks!
Kudos to you OP! Raising a glass to you!
-
Uh, oh. I am at a European university and frankly, we would not hire you if you came up with such a request.
While we would definitely not frown upon a person who does not wish to drink, we would be highly sceptical of somebody refusing to even visit an establishment serving alcohol.
You would come across as a person with completely dogmatic and inflexible view of the world, which does not serve you well in a scientific career. Furthermore, you would be a social outcast if you could not even in theory join us for a drink at a local tapas bar or university cafeteria serving cock au vin.
-
Uh, oh. I am at a European university and frankly, we would not hire you if you came up with such a request.
While we would definitely not frown upon a person who does not wish to drink, we would be highly sceptical of somebody refusing to even visit an establishment serving alcohol.
You would come across as a person with completely dogmatic and inflexible view of the world, which does not serve you well in a scientific career. Furthermore, you would be a social outcast if you could not even in theory join us for a drink at a local tapas bar or university cafeteria serving cock au vin.Cock au vin
-
Oh and be mindful that it’s very likely that an administrative assistant will book things and it’s possible that attending faculty will need to be informed (again) as to why a restaurant was chosen or not chosen. So be prepared for them to need to hear it from you even after dinner begins.
The OP should communicate his request to the administrator assisting with the search. The request will be known to the committee and the faculty attending the dinner won’t be expecting to drink.. Probably a smaller group than usual will participate. Maybe someone will offer to host a small group in their home. It is not an outrageous request by itself. True the faculty will wonder how the OP would fit in the department.
-
OP all kind of upscale restaurants serve alcohol. Their only option is to take you to some cheap fast good restaurants, which doesn’t look nice on you and them. Go to their suggested restaurant. You don’t have to drink. You don’t have to explain anything just if they offer you drink just say thanks I’m fine.
You must have never left your white Christian home town.
Judaism, Islam, Jainism, Hinduism, some types of Buddhism, and many other religions all have dietary laws that would prevent strict adherents from eating in public restaurants that don't specifically follow their rules. Yet, I know successful faculty who are strict adherents to these religions who have managed to land jobs and be successful professors.
University faculty tend to be fairly aware that the world is full of talented scholars who have dietary restrictions for various religious and medical reasons that prevent them from going to restaurants. They respect this.
Even if it means booking a meeting room at a nice hotel and having food prepared in a certain way, it will be done.Just FYI, I’m a Muslim Broette and a f**king heavy drinker. You’re welcome.