After the second time of going into a job market, I am finally able to leave the Netherlands and go back to Canada.
I spent 6 years here. Looking back, I don't know how I could stand it - well, except starting medication to deal with it.
There is no sense in the Netherlands of mutual respect of people, be kind to one another.
There is no sense of self-help and since I am being a Chinese, they often made fun of me working all the time. They told me I am not efficient, don't know how to live my life. Knowing I had a ovarian cancer, they dare to ask me "don't you want to have a children?"
They thought in the beginning I am working in a company restaurant.
One time, a drunken guy from a football match threw a Heineken bottle to me, which crashed on my face and I ended up being in a ER. Police did not take any action. Did not even make a record. She said, "we are very busy with more important thing".
Even day-to-day life, government people gives me different answer each time I call, and tax authorities are not allowed to talk in English.
Looking back, I should not have come here to begin with. The Netherlands economists think there are no world outside? When I invited my American professor (native English speaker) for seminar, they told me his abstract is written in wrong English.
I shed tears and I always felt like people are stepping on me. I tried to understand them, reaching them out, trying to have a connection, but I failed. I could not. I am not sure if anybody can.
The very simple human life principle of helping each other, being kind to each other, self-help, hard working, etc., I have never experienced any of them.
But I hope I gained some wisdom from this sadness and pain. Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live.
Good bye, Holland, I will never come back here, and let me tell you: old economies are not coming back, and your economy would not survive another 100 years with that colonial mentality.
Thank you for reading.