I landed the job
An assistant professor
And at a good place
Time to get going
I need to achieve tenure
Publish or perish
I took a big step
I submitted my best paper
To the JME
It is a huge deal
This one may make or break me
I cross my fingers
A year has now passed
What is taking them so long
Only five years left
I emailed Bob King
Surely that will help me out
I should hear any day
It's now 18 months
He never replied to me
Time to try again
Four years to tenure
Still no word from JME
I am getting mad
Thirty two long months
The decision letter comes
It is hard to breath
I am rejected
But Bob King gives me some hope
The door is left open
Not what I wanted
But at least there is some hope
I will make the changes
I slave for four months
I do all that the refs ask
I send it to Bob
Another year passes
That makes four for me with bob
Two years to tenure
At long last, good news
A revise and resubmit
This might get me there
It has been five years
I send the new draft to Bob
It will be worth it
A long year passes
My tenure vote is next week
I email Bob King
You fat f**king slob
You rejected my paper
I am really f**ked
I read Bob's letter
My topic was not timely
Was hot two years ago
I hoate your f**king guts
You deserve an STD
f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k
My chair calls me in
They voted against tenure
I was one pub short
One consolation
I wrote one thing that mattered
Econ Prof Fired