none of the predocs are friendly or want to socialise.
my friend from undergrad had a similar experience at his sacred zipcode predoc too.
HRM predoc here: I have no friends
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I have not slept for god knows how long... I feel like throwing up everyday and I have a very bad sickness right now (to the degree it is impairing my ability to walk) but I am trying to hide this from everyone here as much as possible and haul myself to the office everyday where no one socializes or shows up
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I feel incredibly nauseous everyday but the healthcare system in America is so slow that it is taking me over a month to see a doctor for the 2nd follow-up appointment which is making it harder to also get more appropriate treatment for health. I basically survive on Advil everyday and try to grind on with my work, putting on a smile whenever I see my PIs or profs in the department. I cried today after everyone left because I'm so mentally and physically broken.
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I have not slept for god knows how long... I feel like throwing up everyday and I have a very bad sickness right now (to the degree it is impairing my ability to walk) but I am trying to hide this from everyone here as much as possible and haul myself to the office everyday where no one socializes or shows up
and to anyone wondering how I show up to work -- the pain comes in wave so sometimes I don't feel anything. When it hurts whenever I try to walk but I try to hide it from expression + try minimize walking in general throughout the day
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don't get me wrong I like research and the work I am doing -- what I don't like is having to deal with isolation and sickness which makes the work I like a gazillion times more mentally taxing and stressful. I'm sick and tired everyday, but I also cannot imagine not doing this work because frankly life would equally suck anyway.
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what I don't like is having to deal with isolation and sickness which makes the work I like a gazillion times more mentally taxing and stressful
If you feel this way, PhD is a mistake. Research is not just "working on problems you like". It's a lifestyle. You will hate every minute of your nice AP job and every minute of your PhD where you work on interesting problems because you hate the lifestyle. You will be miserable.
Industry problems are less fulfilling but when you're surrounded by friends and family your mental health is a lot better. You will look down on your industry job but be happy while doing that. On the other hand, you will be grateful for your research job but will be very unhappy while doing that.
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what I don't like is having to deal with isolation and sickness which makes the work I like a gazillion times more mentally taxing and stressful
If you feel this way, PhD is a mistake. Research is not just "working on problems you like". It's a lifestyle. You will hate every minute of your nice AP job and every minute of your PhD where you work on interesting problems because you hate the lifestyle. You will be miserable.
Industry problems are less fulfilling but when you're surrounded by friends and family your mental health is a lot better. You will look down on your industry job but be happy while doing that. On the other hand, you will be grateful for your research job but will be very unhappy while doing that.no sheet sherlock. The other predocs seem to somehow have a better support net than I do (friends, etc.). I've always wondered why I don't have anything like that. One predoc told me to "reach out to others and just have hobbies" but my question is HOW THE HELL DO YOU EVEN HAVE THAT or have the time for that?
The isolation to be honest never bothered me in my life (I'm not the type to foster deep relationships) and didn't impact me as much until I moved to a totally new place for a pre-doc. Maybe it has something to do with the unfamiliarity of the setting too combined with onset of illness -- but I used to have people in my life that would say hi to me and make small talk -- that used to be enough. Ever since moving to a new place -- I don't know anyone, no one knows me, and that of course in non-existent. A friend I know at a PhD programme really has trouble relating surprisingly because he says "I'm quite chummy with my cohort and we work together on problem sets and make small talk."
The only person that actually relates with me is a pre-doc friend at the sacred zip code who reports similar cohort dynamics and people not really giving a fuck about co-workers. I'm not sure if this is a just pre-doc thing or if my PhD programme friend is just an exception.