I didn't qualify for diversity admissions, nor will I qualify for diversity hiring. I know I got underplaced in undergrad and PhD thanks to my skin color. People view my hard work as mechanical. Women think I'm awkward. Media doesn't give two iotas about me; see NYT article on how "Asians aren't discriminated." Idiots think I'm some ccp spy when I'm not even international, let alone Chinese. The only thing I have is my own work ethic, which recently has evaporated because 1) dating apps aren't friendly to Asian men, 2) the party that supports affirmative discrimination, liberals, are all over media spouting their nonsense. Are there no perks to being an Asian in America?
Lost all motivation as an Asian American male
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i had pretty decent luck on okcupid when i was still dating like a decade? ago. this was when online dating still had a stigma. i went on lots of dates with cute girls and it was fun. you need to temper your expectations. expect maybe a 10% response rate? and some will flake. that's fine. it's still worth a shot.
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The way forward is to stop blaming the world. Yes, it seems pretty unfair right now. But just look within and realize that life really is fully within your control despite what the left is pushing.
"Are there no perks to being Asian in America?" Horrible question. You don't need to be in one of their favored groups and you don't need their handouts. The world owes you nothing. The discrimination you face is nothing compared to what you would have faced in the US in almost any previous generation. Objectively speaking, your current situation is one of the most favorable and meritocratic in human history.
"People view my hard work as mechanical. Women think I'm awkward." This is a self-fulling prophecy. If you don't believe it, then it won't happen. Seriously, this country isn't that racist. If you produce creative ideas, people will see that. If you're not awkward, women will see that. Stereotypes can be easily overcome with evidence. Normal people know how to Bayesian update.
Also, be confident that anything you get, you earned. You don't realize how valuable that feeling is. I honestly think that affirmative action is one of the most damaging things you can do to promising intelligent young people. I pity them as they will always have that question in their heart that I will never have.
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Not that many normal people these days.
The way forward is to stop blaming the world. Yes, it seems pretty unfair right now. But just look within and realize that life really is fully within your control despite what the left is pushing.
"Are there no perks to being Asian in America?" Horrible question. You don't need to be in one of their favored groups and you don't need their handouts. The world owes you nothing. The discrimination you face is nothing compared to what you would have faced in the US in almost any previous generation. Objectively speaking, your current situation is one of the most favorable and meritocratic in human history.
"People view my hard work as mechanical. Women think I'm awkward." This is a self-fulling prophecy. If you don't believe it, then it won't happen. Seriously, this country isn't that racist. If you produce creative ideas, people will see that. If you're not awkward, women will see that. Stereotypes can be easily overcome with evidence. Normal people know how to Bayesian update.
Also, be confident that anything you get, you earned. You don't realize how valuable that feeling is. I honestly think that affirmative action is one of the most damaging things you can do to promising intelligent young people. I pity them as they will always have that question in their heart that I will never have. -
Have you been to cities in Asia? Like Tokyo or Seoul or Singapore. Spend some time over there and compare it to New York or Chicago or San Francisco or any other American city. It feels like America is just deteriorating and Asia is getting better.
The subways are clean and quiet, the cities are overall much cleaner and there's more nature, the number of crazy or homeless people is way less, almost nonexistent, you can expect better quality service at restaurants and stores. Crime is maybe an order of magnitude less.
I do question whether I want to spend the rest of my life in America, or go back to Asia. -
Asian bro here. Asian men basicly run Asian countries. There are odd women here and there but they are mostly puppets (Hong Kong), or soon to be replaced by a superior male (South Korea). And Asian countries are future world power.
So there is nothing bad about being an Asian male. -
The expectations are so low for an Asian male in the dating market that it's not too hard to exceed them.
To succeed, first you have to be ripped. This is pretty much a must in order to get noticed. Couple a shredded body with clothes that fit, and women look at you in a different way.
Now that you have their attention, you need to be able to talk to them. Be confident, have an interesting hobby, and make them laugh.
Finally, seal the deal. Expectations might be even lower in the bedroom, so shatter them. Learn skills and techniques to please them and get them hooked.
Asian guys who have regular success will generally meet all these criteria.
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The expectations are so low for an Asian male in the dating market that it's not too hard to exceed them.
To succeed, first you have to be ripped. This is pretty much a must in order to get noticed. Couple a shredded body with clothes that fit, and women look at you in a different way.
Now that you have their attention, you need to be able to talk to them. Be confident, have an interesting hobby, and make them laugh.
Finally, seal the deal. Expectations might be even lower in the bedroom, so shatter them. Learn skills and techniques to please them and get them hooked.
Asian guys who have regular success will generally meet all these criteria.That does not describe 99% of all men in one way or another.
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The expectations are so low for an Asian male in the dating market that it's not too hard to exceed them.
To succeed, first you have to be ripped. This is pretty much a must in order to get noticed. Couple a shredded body with clothes that fit, and women look at you in a different way.
Now that you have their attention, you need to be able to talk to them. Be confident, have an interesting hobby, and make them laugh.
Finally, seal the deal. Expectations might be even lower in the bedroom, so shatter them. Learn skills and techniques to please them and get them hooked.
Asian guys who have regular success will generally meet all these criteria.That does not describe 99% of all men in one way or another.
Exactly. And no, no other group of men have regular success without some of these traits. 75% of white men struggle in the dating world too. About half of these struggle a LOT.
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Guys, try to get over this Asian guy as victim thing. I'm not saying there isn't a lot of discrimination, but I have seen plenty of success stories also (jobs, dating, etc).
Many Asians in high density Asian places like LA and SD surround themselves with other Asians (Indians do this too). They don't even try to mingle with non-Asians. You can see this in Vegas when co-ed groups of 20 Asian people all hang out with bottle service.
In the midwest, it's tough. There really does seem to be some discrimination against Asians- the top frats dob't have any and the top sororities may have a token Asian girl in some years.
In Arizona though, where there are not many Asians, I've seen Asians guys be bartenders, bouncers, date ex sorority girls of all races, co-own clubs, basically have high status on the nightlife scene.
TLDR: Don't read the NYT or buy into stupid lib Hollywood. Stereotypes almost never help anyone.