I want to take the job, even if it means that we can't live in the same location (for now at least).
He says I'm selfish. Am I?
Partner wants me to turn down r1 tt to be with him at a slac
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Worse, you are a troll that doesn't understand the timing of our job markets (both for the fresh meat and for the ones already out).
Also if anyone has a spouse going to a R1 TT then that person automatically begs you to take it so that you can then get them a job there (even if they start as a lecturer)
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No one is choosing between these offers yet, so the consideration is completely hypothetical. His desire is natural, if a bit selfish. For now, you should get all the offers you can and then make a decision based on your actual choice set. In the end, you should do what's best for your career...resentment is a poison that will kill even the strongest relationships.
What will be best for your career depends on the SLAC and the R1. Top SLACs have a research environment comparable to VLR R1s and work-life balance is almost uniformly better in the SLAC world.
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It’s not that hard. I dropped some hints about our new baby in my convo with the dean, and asked if the university is family friendly, etc. Then I said my hubby was an economist. Spousal hire was pretty much handed to me on a silver platter after that meeting.
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Dump him.
You'll never recover if you go to a LAC and teach 6-8 courses a year. Dead end.This is too harsh an advice.
What is the probability that she would meet another serious person that would wife her in her 30's?
OP, both of you should discuss this out. This is a big opportunity for you, but it does not mean you should damn what he thinks and go ahead.
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Dump him..
But don't come crying to us when you turn into a tenured childless spinster 20 years from now.This is my point, somewhat. Didn't know you were posting same.
OP, not to scare you..But talk things through with him if you are interested in the relationship, that is..