OP incellious maximus
Hi kettle
Worst part of getting married in 30s: You won't be the love of someone's life
-
You will always be just best of what's left for her. There are no great memories from your formative years together. No lifelong ties that bind you together. You were "good enough" based on the constraints of a smaller dating pool and a ticking biological clock. And that's it.
this is some blue pill BS
-
Also don't get a house in your 30s.
You will clearly prefer the houses you used to have. Your memories from your formative years will make you unhappy with any house you get in your 30s. Admit it, you settled for this house. Not because you love its location and layout and design, but because it's good enough.Because an ostensible "life partner" is analogous to a dwelling. The more you people try to sound clever, the more hor rible you reveal yourselves to be.
They are indeed.
You are choosing the things you want around you. You are choosing the lifestyle you want. The question is whether you're better equipped to do so in your 20s or 30s.
What's harrble here is OPs view that, somehow, *happy* experiences in one's past create a permanent taint on future happiness. That is a pathological view.
-
What if it is the first relationship? I'm 27 and have never even kissed a girl yet. A relationship in my 30s could be my very first.
Fairly true. Does not mean you cannot have a great marriage, however.
But yes, the first real relationship someone has stays with you and leaves strong feelings of yesteryear. -
30's is the height of men's power in the dating market. Sure you may end up with a carousel rider, but college and even younger is where a lot of that is concentrated, so avoiding it at any stage is a matter of filtering and tradeoffs against other important factors.
If you are an alpha, you are going to be the lifelong love of everyone you spend time with, regardless of when you meet. If you are an alpha, you also don't think in these terms. If I was that infatuated with my fiance and thought she was irreplaceable, I'd probably lose her quickly.
-
I still prefer the maturity. I came a long way to successfully define myself, articulate my purpose in life, get my s*it together and build the life of my dreams. I am a sort of mature fruit. I am dating someone who also went through the same path. And we are fine and happy. We are very much living an upgrade from our first loves.
-
Also don't get a house in your 30s.
You will clearly prefer the houses you used to have. Your memories from your formative years will make you unhappy with any house you get in your 30s. Admit it, you settled for this house. Not because you love its location and layout and design, but because it's good enough.This but not ironically
+1
I sometimes feel pangs of nostalgia for the house I grew up in which was sold eventually.
-
The core problem with dating when older is that not even you believe in anything anymore. It’s hard to fall in love when you are so much more cynical than you were in your youth.
In fact, you need an almost toxic sense of positivity to date successfully as an older man. Without it, younger women just won’t identify with you.
To give examples, men like Richard Branson or Elon Musk are able to stay playboys as they age because they have an almost religious sense of optimism. More cynical, rational men like Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos don’t fare as well.
Can you be optimistic as an economist in their 30s? Probably not.
-
^Those guys are all in their 50's to 70's
Okay pick whatever tech CEO you want. Most have plain wives.
Jack Dorsey is a crazy person who can’t get married.
Only Evan Spiegel married a model but he was in his 20s and she was older.
If economists are just as nerdy as tech founders but have much less money, what chance do they have?
-
To give examples, men like Richard Branson or Elon Musk are able to stay playboys as they age because they have an almost religious sense of optimism.
So, they like the manchild. Not surprising.
This is why I'd probably go monk if my wife and I ever split. Got sick of watching clowns win. There's no power like that confidence that comes from absolutely nothing.